Monday, June 22, 2009
i dunno.. i felt disarray with the things going through my mind.. i can be like so pumped up and everything's fine.. but the next second everything went tumbling down like a heavy erosion because there isn't any support.. when i think of support, i felt kinda lack of it.. maybe i didn't work hard enough to obtain it.. or maybe there isn't.. or maybe i've built a tall wall that blocks any sort of communication of acceptance..
sitting at home all alone facing the laptop just ain't working.. messaging, ym, msn and etc... just not the way to deal with whatever that's running through my emotion.. probably i just missed times in high school when i get to have fun, talk, and play with friends despite the mentally head cracking exams... but that was nice.. i felt accepted in a group.. this one.. kinda doubt it but there's time when i really enjoyed it.. i dunno.. probably my support group isn't that strong yet... but time is quite limiting..
i think i need to spice up my life a little bit or more.. i need to do something.. but still figuring.. and that's how i get myself into this whole damn situation.. always figuring and thinking..
i guess i need to pamper myself and make sure i'll enjoy it.. a lot..
