DAYS OF REVELRY

it's a plain stupid move in order to search for the answer even if i need to do all this.. but even if it's stupid, i'll continue on even if it reach to the point of no truth being told to me. so this is like a hiding game. nevertheless, even if i didn't get the answer, at least i got clues. why did he want it to be this way...? along the road people get satisfaction, heartbroken, mad for continuing this rather than stop it. but whatever it is, in the end, i don't get anything cause it's the feeling of wanting to know. it's a sacrifice which i learnt. that's how the wall built up. if you know this, at least it ease your heart and mind to see someone got fooled and played. of course, i know i'm being control by this stupid stuff which leads to something which is not natural to me. deep down i know how i am but being blanked out by you and that. i hope the best for me even if it means a dead road. i 'redha' but i'm just happy i loved **. just a setback by bad thoughts *which might be real*. we'll see how it goes. it's as simple as it is. i just want to know what's happening. i wonder what happen next...?

living in a world that's filled with tonnes of desires, it's hard to resist temptation. each gain maybe sweet as honey but some just add more salt to your wound. the hardest part is to chew down whatever sweetness and sourness i've gained. it's not the best blend but it forms a menu of life that can be served to the world.

i can't lie what i feel because i just see hatred... i can deal with dat since i've experience it before but why don't just let me go... you've seen more than enough.. i know you got pain so i don't have.. it's just a painful relationship to go on.. i regretted saying yes the first time.. by saying yes, i just put myself in a more darker place..

can i hopefully pick myself up again... i have no confident, but only i can force myself to do so....

why is it a big concern over the weight issue nowadays...? look great...? being healthy...? score a date...? or just simply to feed their satisfaction....?

i felt scrutinized.... the reason that lies behind this mask is just plainly simple *enclosed personally*.

stop writing this blog.. i'm prone to jot down a few bits.. i have almost completed what a 3 years degree student would have to go through.. it just seems so yesterday.. but then again.. when it's time to go, we're required to apprehend such goodbyes and just hope that we'll meet again soon...